Ther Once Was A Woman From Sidney.. Who Said She Could Take One To The Kidney.

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• There once was a girl from Sidney Who could take it right up to her kidney But a guy from Quebec Shoved it up to her neck He had a long one, now didn't he.
• There once was a woman from Sydney Who could take it in up to her kidney But a man from Quebec Put it up to her neck He had a big one, didn't he?
• There was a young lady from Sidney, Who liked it right up to her kidney, A man from Quebec, Shoved it up to her neck, He had a big one, now didn't he?
• Let's say you were trapped inside this room. Inside this room were 2 doors, and 2 caged talking - tigers.
  One of the doors was an exit into the paradise. The other was an exit into a bottomless pit- (In other words, if you opened this door, you'd fall until your insides get ripped apart by the G-forces- actually you'd still fall- Anyway....
• There once was a woman from Arden Who was seen sucking a man in the garden Her mother said, "Flo, Where does it all go?
  ? And she said, "Gulp, Beg your pardon?...
• The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography).
  .. I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut....
• The following are actual stories told by travellers from Mendocino County, CA to travel agents in the UK.
  (And you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography....
• I once knew a medical man who loved frozen daiquiris.
  He was at a bar one night drinking one when a piece of hickory-wood form the ceiling fell into the glass....
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....