Related:

• THE BIG PIG Received the following communication from Poor Innocent Guy Asa of Montgomery, Alabama
  These should come in handy at work or when frequenting a doctor's office...
• Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
• Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
• Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
• Draw your salary before spending it.
• "Shut up, or I'll nail your OTHER foot to the floor!&quo
• Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
• Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....