I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person.
Related:
- The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages
"Hi!
I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your... - This is an answerin' machine, this machine is designed to take full
advantage of its numerous capabilities.
Please say what you wanted to talk about and why... - I hate these machines, as much as you.
But try as we might,
the cats just won't do. The scratches they cause... - I hate these machines, as much as you.
But try as we might,
the cats just won't do. The scratches they cause... - Note the spelling in this one!] After the tone, please leave a massage-
my shoulders really could use it, and, what? You're... - I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either... - A man approaches his best friend's wife one day when her husband is at the
office.
"Will you have sex with me?" he asks. "No. My husband... - Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon... - Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name,
number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you...
