Related:

• I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow.
  So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow....
• beep, beep, beep> The number you have reached, Seven.
  Six. Seven. One. Two. Three. Four. [Use your number here....
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
• This is an answerin' machine, this machine is designed to take full advantage of its numerous capabilities.
  Please say what you wanted to talk about and why did ya call me anyhow?...
• Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
  .95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone......
• I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills.
  If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone....
• I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills.
  If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone....
• US Army Official Voice Mail Message Thank you for calling the United States Army.
  I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged....