Related:

• If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.
• Something Amiss? Hi, I'm Something Amister.
• If you can't say something nice, sit by me!
• I'm sorry. Did you say something?
• Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead.
  Wait for the beep....
• Voice Mail My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
  A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here....
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• Hi this is <name>. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message and then wait by the phone until I call you back....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....