One--all you need is one hot woman and you'll never have a heterosexual lightbulb again.

- How many Stanford students does it take to change a lightbulb? One, dude.
- How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.... - How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.... - How many Middlebury students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J.... - How many Allegheny students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six--one to change the lightbulb and five to explain where the hell Allegheny College is.... - How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb?

One--and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform Birkenstocks.... - How many Lafayette students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two--one to hold the lightbulb, and one to drink until the room spins.... - How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seventy-six--one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.... - How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician....