Here are some (supposedly) actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:
- Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
- Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
- Problem: "No. 2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution: "No. 2 Propeller seepage normal."
Solution: "No. 1, No. 3, and No. 4 Propellers lack normal seepage."
- Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
- Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
- Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."
- Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
- Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
- Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."
- Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
- A Combined Operation
- A Military Christmas
- Air Farce
- Divert Your Course
- Drill Sergeant Pick-up Lines
- Early Retirement
- Falcon Codes
- Haircut Standards
- How To Be Annoying During The Air Force Stationary Bike Test
- Indoctrination For Return To The US
- Killer Kangaroos
- Meal Standards For The Armed Forces
- My Wife Is Expecting
- Oaths Of Enlistment
- Performance Appraisals
- Poor Herman
- Rough Landing
- The Origin Of Commissioned Officer Insignias
- What Time Is It