Air Farce


Here are some (supposedly) actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:

  • Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
    Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
  • Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
    Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
  • Problem: "No. 2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
    Solution: "No. 2 Propeller seepage normal."
    Solution: "No. 1, No. 3, and No. 4 Propellers lack normal seepage."
  • Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
    Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
  • Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
    Solution: "Evidence removed."
  • Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
    Solution: "Live bugs on order."
  • Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
    Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
  • Problem: "IFF inoperative."
    Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
  • Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
    Solution: "That's what they're there for."
  • Problem: "Number three engine missing."
    Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

More Military

  1. [page] A Combined Operation
  2. [page] A Military Christmas
  3. [page] Air Farce
  4. [page] Bravery
  5. [page] Divert Your Course
  6. [page] Drill Sergeant Pick-up Lines
  7. [page] Early Retirement
  8. [page] Falcon Codes
  9. [page] Haircut Standards
  10. [page] How To Be Annoying During The Air Force Stationary Bike Test
  11. [page] Indoctrination For Return To The US
  12. [page] Killer Kangaroos
  13. [page] Meal Standards For The Armed Forces
  14. [page] My Wife Is Expecting
  15. [page] Oaths Of Enlistment
  16. [page] Performance Appraisals
  17. [page] Perspectives
  18. [page] Poor Herman
  19. [page] Rough Landing
  20. [page] The Origin Of Commissioned Officer Insignias
  21. [page] What Time Is It