A Combined Operation


There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it.

Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation. A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach...

  • The Royal Marines go fishing.
  • The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.
  • The French don't care whose beach it is; it's French territory now, and say the English gave them no other choice.

  • The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then neglect to guard their landing strip.
  • The Dutch have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the English don't understand them.
  • The Italians go sunbathing.
  • The Germans land and build a car factory.
  • The West Indians go looking for the Dutch.
  • The Austrians just watch the Russians and Germans.
  • The Chinese win the natives hearts and minds then kill them.
  • The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone who is not a SEAL.
  • The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each other over a sheep.
  • The South Americans send a contingent of 2000 generals.
  • The South Africans start shooting at anyone with a tan.
  • The Saudi's start drilling for oil.
  • The Russians open a chain of massage parlours.
  • The Brit airborne troops get charged with murder even though they have not opened fire yet.
  • The Spanish are late.
  • The Portuguese are late but blame the Spaniards.
  • Delta Force makes a movie about the landing.
  • The Greeks and Turks turn up then send a bill to the Yanks and Brits.
  • The British Army cannot come because all six of them have flu.
  • The Japanese don't know who owns what ships and decide to sink them all.
  • The Californian National Guard contingent won't land until someone opens a Starbucks.
  • The New Yorkers paint their Amtrak's yellow and will take you ashore for 50 bucks.
  • The Irish Army will be late because they say they are stll celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
  • The Israeli's start building a kibbutz and shell the Palestinians as a precaution.
  • The Scandinavians like it off shore and stay there killing whales for the Japanese.
  • The Polish tunnel under the beach looking for coal.
  • The Palestinians say it used to be theirs but the English gave it away.
  • The Oklahomans have no damn idea what a beach is.
  • The Scottish claim to have found the beach first but accuse the English of stealing it.
  • The Texans look for anyone bad mouthing them.
  • The Mexicans invade Arizona by mistake.
  • The Welsh say it's King Arthur's last resting place but the English stole it.
  • The Swiss apply for a bank charter.
  • The Libyans blow up two UN planes.
  • The UN will send an Ambassador if the member states pay their dues.
  • The Kentuckians open a KFC.
  • The Panamanians ask the U.S. what they should do.
  • The Floridians demand a recount and free Prozac.
  • The EU want to set up a commission of 50,000 administrators paid for by the English.
  • The Swedes just want to screw.
  • The Michigan contingent issue a safety recall and sue General Motors.
  • The Mattel Corp. sends 10,000 GI Joe's and one Barbie.
  • Some guy from Tennessee swears that Elvis and Jimmy Dean are just over the dunes.
  • The Romanians and Albanians finally arrive and surrender.
  • The Coloradans cut off the Kansan's water supply.
  • H. M. The Queen will give anyone a Knighthood if they can grab her a few hundred acres or find a job for Charles.
  • The New Hampshire contingent declares that everyone there is Sooooo Cruel and open a soup kitchen.
  • The North Koreans have no idea what is going on but blame America anyway.
  • Washington State National Guard builds a monument to Bill Gates.
  • The Pakistanis build a Motel Six, a convenience store and gas station.
  • Jimmy Carter arrives and declares peace.
  • Geoge W. Bush doesn't know where the island is, so he orders the U.S. Air Force to bomb Hawaii.

More Military

  1. [page] A Combined Operation
  2. [page] A Military Christmas
  3. [page] Air Farce
  4. [page] Bravery
  5. [page] Divert Your Course
  6. [page] Drill Sergeant Pick-up Lines
  7. [page] Early Retirement
  8. [page] Falcon Codes
  9. [page] Haircut Standards
  10. [page] How To Be Annoying During The Air Force Stationary Bike Test
  11. [page] Indoctrination For Return To The US
  12. [page] Killer Kangaroos
  13. [page] Meal Standards For The Armed Forces
  14. [page] My Wife Is Expecting
  15. [page] Oaths Of Enlistment
  16. [page] Performance Appraisals
  17. [page] Perspectives
  18. [page] Poor Herman
  19. [page] Rough Landing
  20. [page] The Origin Of Commissioned Officer Insignias
  21. [page] What Time Is It