The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Lisa: I gave up the pony. Homer: You did? Lisa: Mm hm.
There's a big, dumb animal I love even more than that horse....
Apu, you can take this job and restaff it!
-- Homer quits his job at the Kwik-E-Mart, "Lisa's Pony...
He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.
-- Apu on Homer, "Lisa's Pony...
I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory".
-- I Can't Believe They Invented It! "Saturda...
Troy: I'm here to tell you about `Spiffy!', the twenty-first-century stain remover.
Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera. Nick: Thank you, Troy!...
Nick: Troy, I brought with me the gravestone of author and troubled soul Edgar Allen Poe!
[exhibits a grimy tombstone] Troy: One of our best writers....
Nick: I'm offering three bottles, enough to clean one thousand tombstones, for only $
39.95! All: Booo! [a chair is heaved on stage] Troy...
Bart: Hey Homer, I can't find the safety goggles for the power saw.
Homer: If stuff starts flying, just turn your head! Bart: Oh. Check. -- "Saturdays of Thunde...
Okay, I'll throw in a <fourth> bottle, the applicator glove, and a state of Kansas jell-o mold.
$29.95! [crowd goes wild] -- Dr....
Homer: Patty! Selma! What a pleasant surprise! Patty
[grunt] Whaddya know, he's wearing pants. Selma: I owe you a lunch. -- "Saturdays of Thunde...

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