Nick: Troy, I Brought With Me The Gravestone Of Author And Troubled Soul Edgar Allen Poe!

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Nick: Troy, I brought with me the gravestone of author and troubled soul
Edgar Allen Poe! [exhibits a grimy tombstone]
Troy: One of our best writers.
Nick: Yes, but unfortunately, a century of neglect has turn this
tombstone into a depressing eyesore.
Troy: So what? I guess we're going to have to throw it away.
Nick: Not so fast, Troy! With one application of Spiffy, you'll think
the body's still warm! [applies some Spiffy, removes all the
All: Ooooooh! Ahhhhhhhh!
[The name `POE' twinkles (add visual and sound effects).]
Troy: Quoth the raven, "What a shine!"
Homer: [watching the show] Ooooh! That's one clean tombstone!
-- For all your tombstone-cleaning needs, I Can't
Believe They Invented It! "Saturdays of Thunder"