Related:

• Lisa: I want the most intelligent hamster you've got.
  Clerk: OK. [reaches into a box of hamsters under the counter and randomly selects one] Uh, this little guy writes mysteries under the name of J....
• Marge: [making up a batch of pancakes] Homer, I want you to encourage Lisa with her science fair project.
  Homer: [pouring syrup on a newly minted stack of pancakes] Yeah, syrup is better than jelly....
• Lisa: [wiping her dress] Oh, I can't get the smell of slurry out of my clothes.
  I was a fool to help that horrible old man! Home...
• Hobbes, I guess we learned a valuable lesson from the duplicating mess.
  .. and that is, um...it's that, well...Okay, so we didn't learn any big lesson....
• Lisa: [Frantically looks for it] Oh, oh! Bart: Looking for something?
  [petting the hamster] Lisa: What have you done with my report?...
• It's okay, Marge. I've learned my lesson. A mountain of sugar is too much for one man.
  It's clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets, and why he lives on a plantation in Hawaii....
• Every good person has learned how to obey, whom to obey and when to obey. Valuable lessons each.
• Beware of the man who has no enemies. -- Edward Abbey
• Milhouse: Behold gravity in all its glory! [pushes a Slinky down an inclined 2-by-4.
  It goes one step, then stops] Edna...