Related:

• and my doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose-bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.
  -- Thank you Ralph, very graphic, "I Love Lisa...
• Lisa: Ohhh, my family just doesn't understand my new found vegetarianism.
  Compared to them the public schools are a haven of enlightenment....
• Hoover: Now, here's an oral extra-credit question. What was Christopher Columbus actually looking for when he discovered America?
  Lisa: [puts her hand up] Ooh! Ooh! Hoover: Anyone besides Lisa for a change?...
• Miss Hoover: [shakily] Children, I won't be staying long.
  I just came from the doctor, and I have lyme disease....
• Ralph: Can you open my milk, mommy? Hoover: I'm not mommy, Ralph.
  I'm Miss Hoover. -- "Lisa the Iconocla...
• The happiest day of my life was three Sundays ago. I was sitting on my daddy's knee when the Sai
  who were four-and-a-half point favorites, but only up by three, kicked a meaningless field goal at the last second to cover the spread....
• Ralph: My parents won't let me use scissors. Cla
  [giggles and snickers] Ms. Hoover: The children are right to laugh, Ralph....
• Miss Hoover: You see, class, my lyme disease turned out to be [spells it on the board] psychosomatic.
  Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy? Student 2...
• Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder Heh. -- Ralph, "I Love Lisa