Related:

• I think all cars should have car phones in 'em and their license plates should be their phone number.
  So you can call 'em up and tell 'em to get the hell out of the way....
• Homer: {OK, we've got the secret vigilante handshake.
  Now we need code names. I'll be Cue-Ball, Skinner can be Eight-Ball, Barney will be Twelve-Ball, and Moe, you can be Cue-Ball....
• Operator: Hello, vigilant viewer. How may we help you?
  Lisa: We caught her! We caught the Babysitter Bandit!...
• If you wanna complain about my attitude dial 1 (800) EAT-SH*T.
• It is a mistake to think of all demons as being exactly alike.
  Some are short while others are tall; some are yellow, others are blue...
• Bureaucratic Cop-Out Number 1: You should have seen it when I got it! -- Marshall L. Smith
• The defenseless youngsters were tied up and gagged in the living room
  while the bandit roamed the house at will, [TV pans over an empty house] stealing the valuable objects it took the family a lifetime to shop for!...