Related:

• I've GOT it together. You should have seen it APART!
• To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem. -- Marshall L. Smith
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly]....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it, moves it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly, and says, 'Here, you can go....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)....
• All things being equal, all things are never equal. -- Marshall L. Smith
• I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?
  Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..." -- Steven Wrigh...
• You know you should be swimming when . . . You horribly misinterpret the TV cop's statement that he plans to "tail" a suspect.
• Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson. You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not.
  Now I want you to straighten this out without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo- jumbo!...