Related:

• A marriage can't be reconciled in a few hours, Homer.
  It takes a whole weekend to do that! -- Rev....
• Rev.: We must bait our hooks with honesty. That way, a happy marriage, heh heh, won't be the one that got away.
  Homer: I see. [sotto voce] He also understands bowling expressions....
• Helen: Now, this is a trust exercise. You fall backwards and rely on your spouse to catch you.
  Marge: Do I have to do this? Rev.: No. Even if your husband &l...
• Rev.: Marge is going to tell us about your faults, why don't you tell us about hers?
  Homer: Oh, she's perfect. Rev.: Come on, Homer, what are her faults?...
• Marge: He chews with his mouth open, he gambles, he hangs out at a seedy bar with bums and lowlifes.
  Homer: [covers his face] Oh, it's all true! Rev.: Homer, don't interrupt....
• Ned: Sometimes Maude (God bless her), she underlines passages in &l
  my> Bible because she can't find hers. Home...
• We have some new pamphlets available in our church newsrack, including `Bible Bafflers', `Satan's Boners', `Good Grief
  More Satan's Boners' and for the teens, `It's Not Cool to Fry in Hell'....
• Marge, as a trained marriage counselor, this is the first instance where I've ever told one partner that they were 100% right.
  It's all his fault. I'm willing to put that on a certificate you can frame....
• I gave up fame and breakfast for our marriage.
  -- Homer, after tossing `General Sherman' back into the lake, "War of the Simpso...