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• A marriage can't be reconciled in a few hours, Homer.
  It takes a whole weekend to do that! -- Rev....
• Marge: He chews with his mouth open, he gambles, he hangs out at a seedy bar with bums and lowlifes.
  Homer: [covers his face] Oh, it's all true! Rev.: Homer, don't interrupt....
• Rev.: Marge is going to tell us about your faults, why don't you tell us about hers?
  Homer: Oh, she's perfect. Rev.: Come on, Homer, what are her faults?...
• Ah, three couples. Our best turnout yet! -- Rev.
  Lovejoy opens the marriage counseling retreat, "War of the Simpso...
• Ned: Sometimes Maude (God bless her), she underlines passages in &l
  my> Bible because she can't find hers. Home...
• Homer: Oh, good. Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back!
  He _has_ to push the sanctity of marriage, or his God will punish him!...
• Marge, as a trained marriage counselor, this is the first instance where I've ever told one partner that they were 100% right.
  It's all his fault. I'm willing to put that on a certificate you can frame....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Helen: Now, this is a trust exercise. You fall backwards and rely on your spouse to catch you.
  Marge: Do I have to do this? Rev.: No. Even if your husband &l...