Related:

• For the first time in my life, people weren't laughing at me, they were laughing &l
  owards> me! -- Homer narrates his story, "Dancin' Home...
• Oh, what a family. My wife and kids stood by me. On the way home, I realized how little that helped.
  .. -- Homer narrates his story, "Dancin' Home...
• And I got up in front of them. I felt an intoxication that had nothing to do with alcohol.
  It was the intoxication of being a public spectacle!...
• This was the biggest decision the Simpsons ever faced.
  I should've listened to the kids instead of my big, dumb wife....
• Homer: There's only one thing worse than being a loser.
  It's being one of those guys who sits in a bar telling a story of how he became a loser, and I never want that to happen to me....
• Homer: Okay, where were we? Bart: Mom was preggers and Dad threw all our money down a sink hole.
  Homer: Ah yes. -- Homer narrates the story of Bart's childhood, "Lisa's First Word...
• They say he carved it himself... from a bigger spoon.
  -- Lenny narrates the spoon legend, "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Home...
• Homer: {That bird! He's killing the elephant. Stop him!
  } Lisa: {No, Dad, he's grooming him.} Homer: {[crafty] Grooming him, eh?...
• Homer: [cracks a beer] Ahh! Bart: Mom, Dad, I saw Sideshow Bob and he threatened to kill me!
  Homer: Bart, don't interrupt! Marge: Homer, this is serious!...