Why should you get nothing, while some guy who loses a finger hits the jackpot?

Related:

• Hm... $1000? Dimoxinil? "To keep brain from freezing"?
  Smithers finds Homer's phony medical insurance form...
• It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart.
  Lisa, maybe you should try some of this. -- Homer...
• Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
  Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a...
• Dear God, give a bald guy a break. Amen. -- Homer's hairful prayer,
  "Simpson and...
• Homer: What are you doing! That putter is to you what a baseball bat is to a baseball player!
  What a violin is... to the... the guy that....
• Burns: Simpson, how old do you think I am? Homer: I dunno.
  A hundred and two? Burns: [sadly] I'm only eighty-one...
• Karl: You don't belong here. You're a fraud and a phony and it's only a matter of time until they find you out.
  Homer: (gasps) Who told you? Simpson and...
• Marge, weren't you listening? This is a miracle breakthrough!
  Not one of these cheapo sucker deals! [tosses a cheapo...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
  feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it...