Related:

• Bart: Military school?! You lied to me! Home
  [chuckles] Well, I'm sorry if you heard, "Disneyland," but I distinctly said, "military school....
• Good job, Simpson, although that's more cursing than I like to hear from a cadet in peacetime.
  -- Military school Commandant, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpso...
• Rangemaster: Well, since you attended public school I'm going to assume that you're already proficient with small arm
  o we'll start you off with something a little more advanced....
• Bart: Please don't make me stay, dad. I'll do anything you say.
  I'll find religion! I'll be good sometimes!...
• Bart: Sorry I froze you out Lis, I, I just didn't want the guys to think I'd gone soft on the girl issue.
  Lisa: [sighs] I'm tired of being an issue, Bart....
• Wiggum: We'll start the tour in a second. I just gotta check the answering machine.
  [does so; there are 75 messages] Aw, can't anybody in this town take the law into their own hands?...
• Lisa: [reading] Meet me at the Eliminator after lights out.
  P.S., The cadets are planning to throw their meatballs at you....
• Homer: [yelling to be heard] You really did it this time, Bart!
  You're in for the punishment of a lifetime!...
• Commandant: Next up ... Simp-son, Lis-a. [the crowd falls silent.
  The cadet leader plays, "Taps." Lisa climbs the ladder to the first platform, as the crowd begins jeering] Lisa...