Related:

• Commandant: Let's go over this one more time, just to make sure I understand the situation.
  [clears throat] You're a girl. Lisa: Yes. Commanda...
• Bart: Military school?! You lied to me! Home
  [chuckles] Well, I'm sorry if you heard, "Disneyland," but I distinctly said, "military school....
• Leader: What's the matter? Don't girls like doing push-ups in the mud?
  Lisa: Is there any answer that I can give that won't result in more push-ups?...
• Commandant: Atten-hut! Gentlemen, we now have a girl cadet among our ranks, so we're going to have to make a few changes.
  First of all, Franklin, you are no longer the girliest cadet here....
• Maybe you should just learn to use this. [hands Lisa a whistle] If there's a war, just blow on it, and I'll come help you.
  -- Rangemaster at military school, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpso...
• Commandant: Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that the state Supreme Court has determined that forcing cadets to cross the Eliminator is a barbaric and malicious practice.
  Lisa: Yes! Commandant: Hence, you will be the last class to be subjected to it....
• The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea.
  They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain....
• Commandant: Next up ... Simp-son, Lis-a. [the crowd falls silent.
  The cadet leader plays, "Taps." Lisa climbs the ladder to the first platform, as the crowd begins jeering] Lisa...
• Bart: Please don't make me stay, dad. I'll do anything you say.
  I'll find religion! I'll be good sometimes!...