Related:

• Bart: Please don't make me stay, dad. I'll do anything you say.
  I'll find religion! I'll be good sometimes!...
• Good job, Simpson, although that's more cursing than I like to hear from a cadet in peacetime.
  -- Military school Commandant, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpso...
• Maybe you should just learn to use this. [hands Lisa a whistle] If there's a war, just blow on it, and I'll come help you.
  -- Rangemaster at military school, "The Secret War of Lisa Simpso...
• Bart: Lisa, I gotta tell somebody. I was at the Quimby compound yesterday when that frog waiter got whacked.
  I _know_ that Freddy Quimby is innocent....
• Homer: [yelling to be heard] You really did it this time, Bart!
  You're in for the punishment of a lifetime!...
• Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
  Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all delicate, like] Ba...
• Skinner: [laughing hard] Ned Flanders actually eliminated detention and put the whole school on the honor system?
  Bart: [laughs] Yeah. And the teachers are afraid to leave the faculty lounge!...
• Homer: [nervously] Well, Bart, did you make sure to return all the guns?
  Bart: Sir! Yes, Sir! Luckily, I am now trained in six additional forms of unarmed combat, sir!...
• The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea.
  They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain....