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• Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon.
  Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians....
• Ladies and gentlemen, what you are seeing is a total disregard for the things St.
  Patrick's Day stand for. All this drinking, violence, destruction of property....
• Parades just bring out so many emotions in me! Joy, excitement, looking.
  .. -- Marge, letting herself go at a St. Patrick's Day parade, "Homer vs....
• Brockman: "What are _you_ looking at?"--the innocent words of a drunken child.
  Well, I'll _tell_ you what we're looking at, young man....
• At first, I thought prohibition was a good thing. People were drinking more and having a lot more fun.
  Without beer, prohibition doesn't work! -- Homer, missing the point in the word "prohibition, "Homer vs....
• Tomorrow is the busiest day of the year. Spanish Proverb
• Bart: Dad! Knocking over gravestones is bad luck!
  Homer: Really? I heard good. -- "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendme...
• Moe: [sniffing a cigar] Ah, this place is going to smell classy all week.
  Barney: To Homer, the Wall Street genius! [everyone claps as Homer bows] [Homer lights a cigar with a $...
• Banner: Pet shop, eh? Well, I just have one question.
  What kind of pet shop is filled with rambunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1 am?...