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• Ladies and gentlemen, what you are seeing is a total disregard for the things St.
  Patrick's Day stand for. All this drinking, violence, destruction of property....
• Parades just bring out so many emotions in me! Joy, excitement, looking.
  .. -- Marge, letting herself go at a St. Patrick's Day parade, "Homer vs....
• Narrator: And so, one town's brief flirtation with prohibition ended in a joyous remarriage to Lady Liquor.
  Congratulations, Springfield! We wish you the very best!...
• The idea that someone like that could operate under my very nose is _laughable_.
  [starts a sickly laughter that sounds like a spasm] Well, you all know what laughter sounds like, don't you?...
• Banner: Well, what are you waiting for? Somebody to kiss you goodbye?
  Wiggum: Well... no, no, no... I guess not. -- Can I at least have my invisible typewriter?...
• Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon.
  Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians....
• Marge: No! No more drinking! I'm tired of looking like the world's worst mother.
  Homer: Oh, honey, you're not the world's worst mother....
• Quimby: Demand? Who are you to demand anything?
  I run this town. You're just a bunch of low-income nobodies!...
• Moe: Listen up, this is the busiest drinking day of the year.
  Where are the designated drivers? [two men raise their hands] Beat it!...