Related:

• Hello, this is Homer Simpson, a.k.a. Happy Dude. The court has ordered me to call every person in town to apologize for my telemarketing scam.
  I'm sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send one dollar to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield....
• One dollar for eternal happiness. Mmmm... I'd be happier _with_ the dollar.
  -- Burns as we know him, "Lisa's Date With Density...
• Ned: [sleepy] Howdily-diddely. Phone: Greetings, friends.
  Do you wish to look... Ned: [hangs up] Oh, it's that darn recording again....
• Homer: Hello, Police? Are you sitting down? Good!
  I wish to report a robbery. Wiggum: [bored] A robbery, right....
• Marge: You know, Mom, you and Abe have a lot in common.
  Um...hmm. You both got swindled by that telemarketing scam!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Ned: Howd... Phone: Greetings, friends... Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in?
  Homer: Shut _up_! -- When you shut up first,"Lisa's Date With Density...
• Homer: Oh Marge, I never felt so alone. No one believes me.
  [pause] Uh, this is the part where you're suppose to say "I Believe You, Homer"?...
• Troy: [voiceover] Earlier this year, Homer's long-lost mother returned.
  And so did a long-lost care package. [shot of Homer eating food from old care packages] Home...