Related:

• Ned: Good night, my little foundlingadings. Ba
  But it's only 7:00. Lisa: Yeah, the sun is still out....
• Homer: I'll build him a doghouse. [starts sketching] Marge
  Oh, I don't know... Homer: Don't worry, I just drew up a little blueprint....
• Bart: Pssst. Grampa, I think this guy's a little nuts.
  Grampa: Oh yeah? Well, General George S. Patton was a little nuts....
• A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket.
  How old's your kid?" the conductor says, and the father says "He's four years old....
• Bart: Who's that, George? George: That's me with Charlton Heston.
  He was -- Bart: Who's that, George? George: Er -- see, you wouldn't know him....
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....
• Marge: [yawn] Lisa, what in the heck are you doing?
  Lisa: Oh, it's for my Junior Achievers Club. We're trying to earn money by recycling....
• As an old soldier I admit the cowardice: it's as universal as seasickness, and matters just as little.
  -- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), "Man and Superma...
• Skinner: _That's_ the collection money! Moe: [sniffs it] Oh yeah, smells like church.
  Lovejoy: I guess it's obvious what's happened here....