Lisa: Hey! Chief Wiggum, what are you doing? What's going on?
Wiggum: I'm sorry, kid, we got Simpson DNA on Burns' clothing and your
father was identified by the old man himself.
Everyone: [gasps]
Bart: [scoffing] DNA, positive ID -- those won't hold up in any
court. Run, Dad!
[Homer runs into Lou]
Lou: Hey ho! Look what I found under Mr. Simpson's car seat.
[holds up a revolver with rubber gloves]
[Eddie dusts it for prints]
Homer: I swear, I've never seen that gun before!
Eddie: [grabbing a glass from Homer's hand] Then why are your
fingerprints all over it, Sir?
Homer: Aah!
[Wiggum opens the chamber and pulls out a bullet]
Wiggum: This bullet matches the one we pulled out of Mr. Burns! Homer
Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.
Homer: [getting cuffed] D'oh!
Wiggum: Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "D'oh".
-- Criminal minds, "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"
Wiggum: I'm sorry, kid, we got Simpson DNA on Burns' clothing and your
father was identified by the old man himself.
Everyone: [gasps]
Bart: [scoffing] DNA, positive ID -- those won't hold up in any
court. Run, Dad!
[Homer runs into Lou]
Lou: Hey ho! Look what I found under Mr. Simpson's car seat.
[holds up a revolver with rubber gloves]
[Eddie dusts it for prints]
Homer: I swear, I've never seen that gun before!
Eddie: [grabbing a glass from Homer's hand] Then why are your
fingerprints all over it, Sir?
Homer: Aah!
[Wiggum opens the chamber and pulls out a bullet]
Wiggum: This bullet matches the one we pulled out of Mr. Burns! Homer
Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.
Homer: [getting cuffed] D'oh!
Wiggum: Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "D'oh".
-- Criminal minds, "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"
Related:
- Wiggum: We need two cups of coffee, and two orders of bite-sized
breakfast pancakes.
With extra dipping sauce. Kid: Please pull up to... - Lisa: My name is Lisa Simpson and I made a chart of all the suspects
in the Burns case.
Look! [holds up a card] Mr. Burns hurt all... - DNA guy: Ooh, nice eyelash. Yours?
Wiggum: No. We need to find out who it belonged to.
We want a DNA test. DNA guy: Ooh, ooh, ee... - Wiggum: OK, boys, we've got a clue: the bullet they took out of Burns.
Now, let's discuss the, um...[picks up Agatha Christie... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Wiggum: A-ha! I had a feeling we'd find you here!
[shoots]
Lou:
Chief, no! Eddie: What'd you do that for? Wiggum:... - Lisa: Stop! Don't shoot my Dad. He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a
fly!
[they open the door] Burns: [being strangled and shaken]... - Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell... - Marge: The police have such a strong case against Homer.
Mr. Burns said he did it, they have Homer's...
