Quimby: People, take it easy. We're all upset about Mr. Burns' plan
to, uh, block out our sun. It is time for decisive action. I
have here a polite but firm letter to Mr. Burns' underlings,
who with some cajoling, will pass it along to him or at least
give him the gist of it.
Aide: [whispering] Sir, a lot of people are stroking guns.
Quimby: Also it has been brought to my attention that a number of you
are stroking guns. Therefore I will step aside and open up
the floor.
[Smithers, unshaven and drunk, stands up]
Smithers: [crying] Mr. Burns was the closest thing I ever had to...a
friend. But he fired me! And now I spend my days drinking
cheap scotch and watching Comedy Central!
Hibbert: Oh, dear God!
Smithers: {Ehh, it's not that bad. I never miss "Pardon My Zinger".}
{[Ned wraps a blanket around him]}
-- Weekdays at three p.m.,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"
to, uh, block out our sun. It is time for decisive action. I
have here a polite but firm letter to Mr. Burns' underlings,
who with some cajoling, will pass it along to him or at least
give him the gist of it.
Aide: [whispering] Sir, a lot of people are stroking guns.
Quimby: Also it has been brought to my attention that a number of you
are stroking guns. Therefore I will step aside and open up
the floor.
[Smithers, unshaven and drunk, stands up]
Smithers: [crying] Mr. Burns was the closest thing I ever had to...a
friend. But he fired me! And now I spend my days drinking
cheap scotch and watching Comedy Central!
Hibbert: Oh, dear God!
Smithers: {Ehh, it's not that bad. I never miss "Pardon My Zinger".}
{[Ned wraps a blanket around him]}
-- Weekdays at three p.m.,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"
Related:
- Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal,
you transfer the call to Mr. Burns. After she tears... - Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers]
Aah!
Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait... - Burns: Imagine it, Smithers: electrical lights and heaters running
all day long!
Smithers: But Sir! Every plant and tree will die,... - Mel: Mr. Burns was shot Friday at three p.m., the very time that
Smithers was at home watching "Pardon My Zinger".
So you see, he couldn't have done it. Smithers... - Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
[points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead... - Smithers: Well, Sir, you've certainly vanquished all your enemies:
the Elementary School, the local tavern,... - Wiggum: Here is a photo of the fugitive from our files.
[holds up picture of Homer in "Haig in '88" T-shirt]... - Burns: Look at that man, he has the crowd in the palm of his hand.
I haven't seen anything like it since Jolson... - Lisa: They don't like being broken up.
Marge: We've got to be realistic,
kids. Who's going to have a big enough heart...
From the same category:
- Now, before we sit down to our delicious turkey puree,
I have some, uh, happy news. The following people... - Karl... Too handsome.
Smithers... Jerk.
Ms. Finch.
Not a man. -- Homer weighs the pros and cons of potential... - Homer: I hope Burns and I can count on your support,
honey. Marge: Homer, I'm a Bailey Booster. Homer:... - Read the `bosom' part again, Dad!
-- Lisa,
"Dead Putting... - Lovejoy: Hmmm. I'm a shepherd without a flock.
[looks heavenward] What have I done...
