Mel: Mr. Burns was shot Friday at three p.m., the very time that
Smithers was at home watching "Pardon My Zinger". So you see,
he couldn't have done it.
Smithers: [gasps] Yes, you're right! I remember now, I watched that
entire show. In fact --
[flash to shot of Smithers's feet weaving down sidewalk]
Smithers: [voice over] I left the town meeting early so I could get home
in time.
[in flashback] [slurred] Ohh, I've got to run or I'll miss
the opening rank-out.
[a shadow approaches in front]
Get of my way, please --
Jasper: Slow down. The sidewalk's for regular walking, not for fancy
walking.
Smithers: Get out of my way, I'm in a hurry.
Jasper: You simmer down, I'll let you go.
[Smithers pulls a gun, shoots]
[back to the present]
Smithers: So...instead of wounding an evil old man, I may have killed an
innocent old man. That's much worse!
Krusty: {About 50,000 volts worse, if you know what I mean! [makes
electrocuting sound effects]}
-- Krusty's legendary sympathy,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"
Smithers was at home watching "Pardon My Zinger". So you see,
he couldn't have done it.
Smithers: [gasps] Yes, you're right! I remember now, I watched that
entire show. In fact --
[flash to shot of Smithers's feet weaving down sidewalk]
Smithers: [voice over] I left the town meeting early so I could get home
in time.
[in flashback] [slurred] Ohh, I've got to run or I'll miss
the opening rank-out.
[a shadow approaches in front]
Get of my way, please --
Jasper: Slow down. The sidewalk's for regular walking, not for fancy
walking.
Smithers: Get out of my way, I'm in a hurry.
Jasper: You simmer down, I'll let you go.
[Smithers pulls a gun, shoots]
[back to the present]
Smithers: So...instead of wounding an evil old man, I may have killed an
innocent old man. That's much worse!
Krusty: {About 50,000 volts worse, if you know what I mean! [makes
electrocuting sound effects]}
-- Krusty's legendary sympathy,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"
Related:
- Smithers: Oh...could I have shot Mr. Burns in a drunken rage?
No, no, not me. I know in my heart I --... - Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers]
Aah!
Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait... - Mel: Mr. Smithers must have seen that program too! He never misses
it.
[puffs pipe] Hmm...at the town meeting, he mentioned... - Burns: [looking up from his magazine] Smithers, what's the meaning
of this slacking off?
Smithers: Uh, there's a bee in my eye, sir. Burns... - Wiggum: Wait a minute. If the second old geezer got shot,
how come nobody reported it? [at... - Quimby: People, take it easy. We're all upset about Mr.
Burns' plan to, uh, block out our sun. It... - Shutton: Uh, Dave Shutton, Springfield Daily Shopper.
Who are you? Where are you going? Kent... - Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
[points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead... - Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal,
you transfer the call to Mr. Burns. After she tears...
