Skinner: Today Springfield Elementary Embarks On A New Era

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Skinner: Today Springfield Elementary embarks on a new era: an era of
unbridled spending where petrodollars will fuel our wildest
educational fantasies. These young minds will enjoy every
academic advantage [chuckles] till they enter Springfield High
School, which has no oil well.
Kid: [from audience] We got an air hockey table!
Skinner: Fine. Now to switch on our oil pump for the very first time,
here's our top student, Lisa Simpson.
Kearney: [from audience] Nerd!
[Lisa throws the switch]
[a huge rumble is heard, but only a single drop of oil comes
Chemist: There's no pressure. Someone else has tapped this well!
Tito: Aye caramba!
-- Tito's stolen catch-phrase,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"