Skinner: Today Springfield Elementary embarks on a new era: an era of
unbridled spending where petrodollars will fuel our wildest
educational fantasies. These young minds will enjoy every
academic advantage [chuckles] till they enter Springfield High
School, which has no oil well.
Kid: [from audience] We got an air hockey table!
Skinner: Fine. Now to switch on our oil pump for the very first time,
here's our top student, Lisa Simpson.
Kearney: [from audience] Nerd!
[Lisa throws the switch]
[a huge rumble is heard, but only a single drop of oil comes
out]
Chemist: There's no pressure. Someone else has tapped this well!
Tito: Aye caramba!
-- Tito's stolen catch-phrase,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"
unbridled spending where petrodollars will fuel our wildest
educational fantasies. These young minds will enjoy every
academic advantage [chuckles] till they enter Springfield High
School, which has no oil well.
Kid: [from audience] We got an air hockey table!
Skinner: Fine. Now to switch on our oil pump for the very first time,
here's our top student, Lisa Simpson.
Kearney: [from audience] Nerd!
[Lisa throws the switch]
[a huge rumble is heard, but only a single drop of oil comes
out]
Chemist: There's no pressure. Someone else has tapped this well!
Tito: Aye caramba!
-- Tito's stolen catch-phrase,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"
Related:
- Skinner: I'm afraid we've got no legal recourse against Mr.
Burns and his slant-drilling operation. The... - Skinner: Superintendent, we made the front page today!
[holds up newspaper, covering word "Awful" in headline]... - Lisa: My name is Lisa Simpson and I made a chart of all the suspects
in the Burns case.
Look! [holds up a card] Mr. Burns hurt all... - Skinner: My lord, such destruction.
[sees Chalmers climbing up onto the roof]
Superintendent Chalmers,
er, how are you going? Chalmers: Why is it when I heard... - Smithers: Well, Sir, you've certainly vanquished all your enemies:
the Elementary School, the local tavern,... - Smithers: [over intercom] Principal Skinner, this is your secretary.
There is one last student here to see you. Skinner... - Skinner: Before we draw up the budget, I believe the students and
faculty have a few suggestions.
Willy: I want a crystal bucket for my slopwater and... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Burns: [menacing] I want that oil well. I've got a monopoly to
maintain!
I own the electric company, and the water works --...
