Skinner: Superintendent, We Made The Front Page Today!

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Skinner: Superintendent, we made the front page today!
[holds up newspaper, covering word "Awful" in headline]
Chalmers: Uh, what's that say under your hand there?
Skinner: Hmm? Oh, it's an unrelated article.
Chalmers: It's an unrelated article?
Skinner: [nodding] Mm hmm.
Chalmers: Within the banner headline?
Skinner: Yes. [puts the newspaper down] Now, to redirect our
conversation slightly, I had a few ideas on how to spend this
oil money.
Chalmers: Well, we could give each student a full college scholarship.
[both burst out laughing]
Skinner: Oh, mercy. Seriously though...
-- No 78th-grade readers yet,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"

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