Related:

• Doll: Here you go, buddy. Homer: Did you walk the dog?
  Doll: Yeah, he buried me a couple of times. Home...
• Smithers: John! John: Uhh, oh, Waylon! I'd like you to meet the Simpsons!
  Smithers: I know the Simpsons. [sotto voce] So this is your sick mother?...
• Marge: Well, leave it to good ol' Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.
  Homer: [snort] Mary Bailey. Well, if I was governor, I'd sure find better things to do with my time....
• a chainsaw noise is heard] Bart: Hey! I found a shortcut through your hedge maze.
  Willy: Why you little -- [thinking] No, no, go easy on the wee one....
• Marge: Lisa needs to go to the museum tomorrow, and I think you should take her.
  Homer: Museum? Tomorrow? Oh, oh, Marge, I'd love to, but I was planning on....
• Homer: Give me some quarters... I'm doing my laundry.
  Clerk: Yeah, right. [gives him the quarters] Home...
• You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week.
  ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up....
• Homer: Bart, I want you to shake hands with -- what's your name, fella?
  Roscoe: Roscoe. Homer: Roscoe here runs this mill....
• Woman: Could you make sure not to scrape my asphalt?
  Homer: [sotto voce] Kiss <my> asphalt. -- "Mr. Plow...