Related:

• Homer: You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops!
  Chief Wiggum: [suddenly afraid] They are? Oh, no!...
• Bart: Come watch TV with me, Dad. We missed the first two episodes of "Cops", but if we hurry we can catch the last three.
  Homer: Aw, sorry Bart, Lisa and I are going out for a gelato....
• Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys? Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief.
  Wiggum: Princess Opal? Opal: I see nothing here, but I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta Burke and Major Dad....
• Wiggum: A-ha! I had a feeling we'd find you here! [shoots] Lou
  Chief, no! Eddie: What'd you do that for? Wiggum...
• Malloy: And little Lisa: here's your saxophone. Lisa
  Thank you. And thank you, Dad. You got it back -- just like you said you would....
• Lisa: Milhouse! Knock him down if he's in your way.
  Jimbo! Jimbo, go for the face! Look!...
• Wiggum: Hold it right there. [gets out his car] Well, if it isn't Springfield's finest little babysitter, Lisa Simpson!
  Lisa: Hi! How are you?? Wiggum: Um, I'm fine....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Gravedigger: Two more ladies come by earlier that day.
  One was real pretty, t'other, sort of plain....