Bob: Only _I_ could have executed such a masterpiece of electoral
fraud. And I have the records to prove it! Here, just look at
these -- [pulls out binders and floppy disks] each one a work of
Machiavellian art.
Judge: But why?
Bob: Because you _need_ me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may
force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly
long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize
criminals, and rule you like a king. That's why I did this: to
protect you from yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a
city to run.
Judge: Bailiffs, place the mayor under arrest.
Bob: What? Oh yes, all that stuff I did.
-- Mayor Bob digs his own grave (and saves),
"Sideshow Bob Roberts"
fraud. And I have the records to prove it! Here, just look at
these -- [pulls out binders and floppy disks] each one a work of
Machiavellian art.
Judge: But why?
Bob: Because you _need_ me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may
force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly
long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize
criminals, and rule you like a king. That's why I did this: to
protect you from yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a
city to run.
Judge: Bailiffs, place the mayor under arrest.
Bob: What? Oh yes, all that stuff I did.
-- Mayor Bob digs his own grave (and saves),
"Sideshow Bob Roberts"
Related:
- Bart: Lis! Lis, come here, I found him! I found Edgar Neubauer.
[points at a tombstone: "Edgar Neubauer: Beloved husband... - Hutz: Mr. Mayor, is it true you rigged the election?
Bob: No, I did not. Hutz: [pause] Kids, help. ... - Bob: Ahh, Westminster Abbey. Edward the Confessor himself could
not have done better.
Now to set the clocks to Greenwich Mean... - Bart: I...should have known you were too smart to fall for that.
Bob: Really? What type of smart? Book smart? Because... - Burns: Hail, brothers. Coranon Silaria, Ozoo Mahoke.
[everyone answers "Mahoke"] Now, then, gentlemen... - Bart: [gasps] Sideshow Bob!
[everyone gasps and screams]
Bob:
[on TV] Hello, Springfield. Sorry to divert your attention... - Bob: Well Bart, Lisa...here I am.
Lisa: I have a plan.
I think we can trap him. [they walk up; Lisa... - Quimby: Very well. If that is the way the winds are blowing,
let no one say I don't also blow. [dials phone]... - Bob: So sorry, Mr. Simpson. Your house is blocking construction of
our new Matlock Expressway.
[camera pulls back to show expressway looming overhead]...
