Related:

• There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard
• Mudpacks aren't good for the complexion. Did you ever see a pretty pig? -- Jack E. Leonard
• I just want to say, if you had lived, you would have been a very sick man. -- Jack E. Leonard
• I won't tell you how much I weigh, but don't ever get in an elevator with me unless you're going down.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...
• Your husband tells me you have a great mind. Too bad it hasn't reached your head.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...
• Worship the potato? The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what else is more deserving of worship?
  It's simple, it comes from the earth, and it can kill you if you disobey it....
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• Just trying to keep up...