Related:

• Mrs. Lovejoy: I'll just take that -- [sees empty collection plate] [gasps] Everyone turn around and look at this!
  Abe: What is it? A Unitarian? [everyone surrounds Bart] Ba...
• Mrs. Lovejoy: So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.
  Bart: Well, in my family grades aren't that important....
• Marge: [in the distance] Bart! Lisa! Time for church!
  Mrs. Van Houten: [in the distance] Milhouse! Time for church....
• Bart: Why the crap do we have to go to church anyway?
  Marge: You just answered your own question with that commode mouth....
• Mrs. Lovejoy: So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.
  Bart: Well, in _my_ family grades aren't that important....
• Lisa: There is someone among us with a guilty conscience.
  After much soul-searching I decided it would be wrong of me to name names....
• Jackie: I remember Lisa's third birthday. She and Bart did this adorable little song and dance routine.
  Abe: Oh, heh heh! That was a real horn-honker!...
• Skinner: _That's_ the collection money! Moe: [sniffs it] Oh yeah, smells like church.
  Lovejoy: I guess it's obvious what's happened here....
• Marge: [in the distance] Bart! Lisa! Time for church!
  Mrs. Van Houten: [in the distance] Milhouse! Time for church....