Related:

• Mrs. Lovejoy: So, Bart, how's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.
  Bart: Well, in _my_ family grades aren't that important....
• Mrs. Lovejoy, screaming to the crowd in Church: "Everyone turn around and look at this!
  Abe: What is it? A Unitarian? Episode: 2F04, Bart's Girlfriend...
• Bart: Why the crap do we have to go to church anyway?
  Marge: You just answered your own question with that commode mouth....
• Skinner: _That's_ the collection money! Moe: [sniffs it] Oh yeah, smells like church.
  Lovejoy: I guess it's obvious what's happened here....
• Mrs. Lovejoy: Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Thank you for choosing our church.
  Bye-bye. Bart: [looking at Jessica] I've never felt this way about a girl before....
• Bart: Actually, numbers don't have much use in my future caree
  Olympic gold medal rocket sled champion!...
• Jessica: [walking up] You're _bad_, Bart Simpson. Ba
  [plaintive] No I'm not! I'm really -- Jessica: Yes you are....
• Lovejoy: And now my daughter Jessica, who has just returned from boarding school, will read the same passage I just read.
  I noticed a few of you weren't paying attention....
• Now instead of my boring old sermon, I'm going to take a page from the Book of Bart to do something I've always wanted to do.
  [Walks over to the organ] Take five, Mrs. Feesh. [Begins playing "The Entertainer" badly] Wait, wait, I can do this....