Related:

• Gerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.
• If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
  -- Lyndon B. Johnson Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off....
• Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife
  he is always proud of himself as the source of it. -- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)...
• They call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher.
  I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way....
• Brent: It is the playoffs. It's five below, and there's one loyal fan wearing nothing but a G-string, and the team colors painted on his body!
  [camera shows the fan in question, shivering, teeth chattering] Johnny...
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• Gridlock: football played between the 40-yardlines only!
• Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
  Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying...
• I'll bite his leg off. -- Someone getting into a role-playing game a bit too much, in ZOT!