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May your next romantic encounter be interrupted by a large nuclear explosion.
May your possessions never tempt another to steal.
May your priest offer to sell you a tape recording of your last confession.
May your saliva turn out to be poisonous.
May your sister fall hopelessly in love with another woman.
May your son grow up to be a famous doctor, and may you be his only case.
May your sons turn out so smart they're promoted to corporal.
May your soul be forever tormented by fire and your bones be dug up by dogs and dragged through the streets of Minneapolis.
-- Garrison Keillo...
May your spouse always know when you need a hug.
May your stay in the afterlife be a warm one.
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