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Help! I'd dial 911 but can't find the eleven on the dial.
Help! I have tagophobia!
Help! I hit the power switch and it didn't die.
Help! I'm addicted to taglines!
Help! I'm a rock! -- Frank Zappa
Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up.
Help! I'm being held captive by my modem!
HELP, I'm being held prisoner by this BBS.
HELP, I'm being held prisoner by this Tagline Conference.
Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!
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