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Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
Today is the last day of your life so far.
Today is what happened to yesterday.
Today when a man gets married he gets a home, a housekeeper, a cook, a cheering squad and another paycheck.
When a woman marries, she gets a boarder....
Today you'll start getting heavy metal radio on your dentures.
Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.
Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonde...
Todays weirdness is tomorrows reason why. -- H.S. Thompso
Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.
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