How Many Chess Grandmasters -- Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

How many chess grandmasters -- does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They are too "Short"....
How many mathematicians -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb....
How many civil servants -- does it take to change the light bulb?
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork....
How many New Yorkers -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
21 - one to change it and 20 to watch it happen without trying to stop it....
How many Cosmopolitan readers -- does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two, one to change the light-bulb and one to have an orgasm with the old one....
How many security guards at a Grateful Dead concert -- does it take to change a light bulb?
21: One to change the bulb, the rest to fatally beat the Deadhead who was only there to look at the light....
How many screenwriters -- does it take to change a light bulb?
"Why do we have to change it?...
How many executives -- does it take to change a light bulb?
A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change....
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and another to reflect on how much more gratifying it was than a man....