Related:

• Mitch: I had the strangest dream Chris: Was it a dream where you were standing atop a pyramid dressed in the robes of a sungod with thousands of naked women throwing little tiny pickles at you?
  Mitch: No Chris: Why am I the only one who has that dream? -- From "Real Geniu...
• On marriage: Why buy a book when you can borrow one from the library?
• Friends, n: People who borrow your books and set wet glasses on them.
  People who know you well, but like you anyway....
• Aren't you glad you asked?
• Hey, good to see you. Glad you could make it. Toby, have you lost weight?
  -- Bart, the perfect host at his birthday party, "Radio Ba...
• Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
• You can borrow a book and return it too.
• You may borrow a book and read it too!
• It is always best not to tell people of your troubles.
  Half of them are not interested and the other half are glad you're getting what's coming to you....