Related:

• Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
• Friends: people who know you but like you anyway.
• FRIENDS: The people who stab you in the front.
• Bart: You know why these clothes are on sale, Mom?
  Because the people who wear them get beaten up....
• If you want to know who your friends are, get yourself a jail sentence.
• Marge: Hmm, I don't know, Bart. You're only ten. Lisa
  I've got a weekend job helping the poor and I'm only eight....
• Burns: Thank you so much for visiting our plant, Dr.
  Kissinger. Henry: It was fun. Smithers: We'll let you know if your glasses turn up....
• Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words.
  The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have...
• Lisa: If your advertising agency created all those giant characters, you must know how to stop them.
  Man: Well sir, advertising is a funny thing. If people stop paying attention to it, pretty soon, it goes away....