Related:

• And we heard him exclaim As he started to roam: "I'm a hologram, kids, please don't try this at home!
  '" -- Bob Violence...
• Under the wide an starry sky, Dig my grave and let me lie
  Glad did I live and gladly die, And laid me down with a will, And this be the verse that you grave for me, Here he lies where he longed to be, Home is the sailor home from the sea, And the hunter home from the hill....
• Under the wide an starry sky, Dig my grave and let me lie
  Glad did I live and gladly die, And laid me down with a will, And this be the verse that you grave for me, Here he lies where he longed to be, Home is the sailor home from the sea, And the hunter home from the hill....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly]....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)....
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly.
  I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go....
• Bart: Hey, it's morning and Mom and Dad aren't home yet.
  Lisa: Don't worry, Mr. Hutz is still here to take care of us....
• One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his attic.
  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke....