Related:

• What is it, Lassie? A boy fell down a mine shaft and broke his ankle and is diabetic and needs insulin?
  Is THAT what you're trying to tell me?...
• Homer: That Timmy is a real hero! Lisa: How do you mean, Dad?
  Homer: Well, he fell down a well, and... he can't get out....
• What is a Pinochioism? It is an act of one in possession of a computer, whereby one tells whomever is asking that the computer is down.
  This avoids trying to correct previously made stupid or sometimes even deliberate errors, particularly on airlines that overbook, or resort hotels that don't really expect everyone to show up when they say they will....
• What can I say? I laughed. I cried. I fell down. It changed my life. The end.
• Marge: I'm sorry I had to arrest you, Homer, but what I did was right.
  Some day when you really need it you'll be happy there are dedicated cops like me out there....
• Homer: I think Lisa needs another push on her new tire swing!
  Lisa: No, Dad, I want to get down. This tire is filthy and the steel belts are poking me....
• Homer: Ohhhhh... Marge: What? Homer: I'm used to seeing people promoted ahead of me.
  Friends, co-workers, Tibor... I never thought it'd be my own wife....
• Monica: Pete's breaking up with me. All: What?! Monica
  I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk....
• Bart: Hey, boy, you want to play fetch? [SLH looks up, tired, then puts his head back down] Aw.
  Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, but he never wants to play any more since his bitch moved in....