Homer: I think Lisa needs another push on her new tire swing!
Lisa: No, Dad, I want to get down. This tire is filthy and the steel
belts are poking me.
Homer: [pushing her] Whee! Whee!
Lisa: Nooo! Nooo!
Bart: No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot
more fun than your half-assed overparenting.
Homer: But I'm using my whole ass.
Lisa: Dad, it's just that too much of your love can really be...scary.
Homer: [sighs] Some day you'll thank me for all this scary love. But
now I've got to go somewhere and do some serious thinking.
[gets into car, drives off]
Bart: I'm sure he meant to say, "serious drinking".
Lisa: That's what I assumed.
-- His kids know him well,
"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
Lisa: No, Dad, I want to get down. This tire is filthy and the steel
belts are poking me.
Homer: [pushing her] Whee! Whee!
Lisa: Nooo! Nooo!
Bart: No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot
more fun than your half-assed overparenting.
Homer: But I'm using my whole ass.
Lisa: Dad, it's just that too much of your love can really be...scary.
Homer: [sighs] Some day you'll thank me for all this scary love. But
now I've got to go somewhere and do some serious thinking.
[gets into car, drives off]
Bart: I'm sure he meant to say, "serious drinking".
Lisa: That's what I assumed.
-- His kids know him well,
"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her
to pass me the syrup?
Marge: [Wearily] Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.... - Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK?
Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy.... - Burns: Homer, your bravery and quick thinking have turned a potential
Chernobyl into a mere Three Mile Island.
Bravo! [Places an award around Homer's neck.... - Homer opens the door resolutely, then unplugs the TV]
[the kids, watching it, open their mouths]
Home
[quickly] Kids! Here's $50, why not go to the movies, then take a cab to your aunts' house?... - Bart+Lisa: HAP-PY BIRTH-DAY!
Homer: [alarmed] Aaggh!
Whaa... What! Lisa: Here's your birthday breakfast!... - Homer: [asleep on the couch, drool dripping out of his mouth]
Bart+Lisa
Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: No.... - Homer: Kids, I wanna give you some words to remember me by, if something
happens.
Let's see...er...Oh, I'm no good at this. Lisa: [whispers into Homer's ear] Home... - Homer: I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is
-- and it's me.
Marge: You're not a god, Homer. Lisa: Remember Dad, "All glory is fleeting....
