Homer: I think Lisa needs another push on her new tire swing!
Lisa: No, Dad, I want to get down. This tire is filthy and the steel
belts are poking me.
Homer: [pushing her] Whee! Whee!
Lisa: Nooo! Nooo!
Bart: No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot
more fun than your half-assed overparenting.
Homer: But I'm using my whole ass.
Lisa: Dad, it's just that too much of your love can really be...scary.
Homer: [sighs] Some day you'll thank me for all this scary love. But
now I've got to go somewhere and do some serious thinking.
[gets into car, drives off]
Bart: I'm sure he meant to say, "serious drinking".
Lisa: That's what I assumed.
-- His kids know him well,
"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"