Related:

• Lisa: Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present?
  Homer: [entranced by a TV show of pretty girls dancing provocatively] Mon-ney....
• You may be redneck... if both your dog and your wallet are on a chain.
• You don't need to buy your cat expensive presents on its birthday.
• Life is tough, and you know that when you've got more bills in your mailbox than in your wallet.
• You know your jeans are too tight, if it takes pliers to get to your wallet.
• Smithers: Here are several fine young men who I'm sure are gonna go far.
  Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones! Bu...
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your twin sister forgets your birthday.
• You know it's going to be a bad day when your twin brother forgot your birthday.
• You know you are getting older when the only thing you really want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.