Related:

• Abortion means never having to say "Happy Birthday!
• Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang "Happy Birthday To You".
• McCoy: "Happy birthday." Kirk: "I don't know what to say.
  McCoy: "Well, you could say, 'Thank you.'" Kirk: "Thank you." -- "STII:TWOK", Stardate 8130.3...
• Troy: Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes, "What is the real deal with Mr.
  Burns' assistant Smithers? You know what I'm talking about....
• Patty: Hello, everybody except Homer. Jackie: [touching Maggie's nose] Happy birthday, granddaughter.
  Patty: Marge, I think that's your father-in-law across the street....
• On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.
  There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning alive....
• Bart: [inscribing a card] "To me bestest bud, Milhouse.
  Happy Birthday. Bart." Lisa: Bart, that's so sweet....
• Bart: "Is it okay if the balloons say 'Happy Birthday' on them?
  Herman: "Err, I'd rather they say 'Death From Above', but I guess that'll do....
• The Happy Birthday song was originally a Good Morning song written in the late 1800s by two sister kindergarten teachers, Mildred & Patty Hill, for their students.
  Anyone who uses the Happy Birthday song in a production has to credit the Hill sisters....