Related:

• Flood's bad when your basement develops barnacles.
• Flood's bad when you catch a 12 pound bass in your upstairs bedroom.
• Help! I'd dial 911 but can't find the eleven on the dial.
• Flood's bad when the kids get to class in a yellow school boat.
• Flood's bad when your antenna serves as a channel marker.
• Little Known Facts, #23: Did you know... that if you dial 911 in Los Angeles you get the BMW repair garage?
• 1] If at all possible, don't. Let someone else do it.
  2] Change majors. 3] Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and execute....
• They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.
  -- Tommy Blaze...
• Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks they dialed long distance.
  ) -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...