Related:

• After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.
  -- Larry Brow...
• Bother! said Pooh, as he underwent aversion therapy.
• I like life. It's something to do. -- Ronnie Shake
• HaHaHaHaHaHa..my eyes are filled with tears.
• My first psychiatrist said I was paranoid, but I want a second opinion because I think he's out to get me.
  -- Tom Wilson ("Ziggy")...
• A young married couple had their first child. Their original pride and joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of years the child had never uttered any form of speech.
  They hired the best speech therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail....
• My uncle staggered in the other night, loaded. His wife said, "Where have you been?
  He said, "I bought something for the house." She said, "What did you buy for the house?...
• My girlfriend said I never listen to her, or something.
• They call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher.
  I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way....